How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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