Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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