Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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