Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless

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  (586): On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless http://tfl.nu/z7nx
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Midget sex pt 2 tonight

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  (906): Midget sex pt 2 tonight http://tfl.nu/vj0r
  Replies (1) Good night (1006) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!

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  (276): So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job! http://tfl.nu/fkyk
  Replies (11) Good night (3712) Bad night (777)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went

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  (443): you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went http://tfl.nu/2n24
  Replies (7) Good night (1636) Bad night (3256) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor

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  (732): im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor http://tfl.nu/d5hx
  Replies (18) Good night (4377) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.

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  (928): I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos. http://tfl.nu/xt2r
  Replies (23) Good night (4172) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me

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  (807): her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me http://tfl.nu/f0ty
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis

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  (608): It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis http://tfl.nu/80nu
  Replies (12) Good night (4175) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg

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  (509): I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg http://tfl.nu/tr8k
  Replies (6) Good night (2151) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.

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  (651): You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out. http://tfl.nu/2o8m
  Replies (5) Good night (2030) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem

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  (949): he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem http://tfl.nu/y96p
  Replies (1) Good night (1140) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.

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  (412): I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/cumu
  Replies (8) Good night (1588) Bad night (295) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter

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  (919): my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter http://tfl.nu/13z8
  Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms

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  (917): Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms http://tfl.nu/vk6t
  Replies (5) Good night (772) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.

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  (509): Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option. http://tfl.nu/ikne
  Replies (3) Good night (291) Bad night (189) Order T-Shirt

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