That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
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So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
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Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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