oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i dont even know how to be here
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
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we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
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Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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