I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize