Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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