I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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