And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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