I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize