Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
please don't ironically join a cult
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