Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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