Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sext me about skeletons
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize