And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
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I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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