I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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