He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
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This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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