the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
These tits shall not be calmed
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize