Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize