I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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