Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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