Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
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Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
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I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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