smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
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And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
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It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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