Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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