I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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