i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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