I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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