Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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