Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize