my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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