Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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