My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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