Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.

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  (734): Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics. http://tfl.nu/seve
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?

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  (516): whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"? http://tfl.nu/wiv5
  Replies (63) Good night (5207) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.

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  (404): You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense. http://tfl.nu/zmp3
  Replies (12) Good night (5688) Bad night (525)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis

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  (631): I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis http://tfl.nu/1ywh
  Replies (17) Good night (4392) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.

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  (604): You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur. http://tfl.nu/i4e8
  Replies (15) Good night (4778) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats

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  (217): I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats http://tfl.nu/84a1
  Replies (14) Good night (1799) Bad night (2600) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.

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  (661): I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report. http://tfl.nu/3xqn
  Replies (9) Good night (3874) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.

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  (407): 50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin. http://tfl.nu/4pfl
  Replies (10) Good night (1975) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room

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  (610): Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room http://tfl.nu/oqu1
  Replies (20) Good night (3486) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.

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  (614): Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel. http://tfl.nu/hpfu
  Replies (6) Good night (2134) Bad night (478)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself

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  (815): I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself http://tfl.nu/6sc5
  Replies (2) Good night (1030) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?

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  (910): Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares? http://tfl.nu/w5f4
  Replies (16) Good night (558) Bad night (1354) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom

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  (616): Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom http://tfl.nu/uno6
  Replies (8) Good night (1247) Bad night (382)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final

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  (423): My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final http://tfl.nu/c4wx
  Replies (6) Good night (1607) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.

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  (202): We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer. http://tfl.nu/6uoe
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (163)

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