Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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