So drunk its hurt
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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