I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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