Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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