What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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