What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize