I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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