Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize