garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
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