Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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