I wish my penis had an off switch
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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