Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize