Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize