If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize