So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
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dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
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Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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