I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize