I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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